~ by Lauralea Banks, a new Program Coordinator of Faith House Manhattan
After deciding my life in Washington, DC, was not fulfilling or taking me where I wanted to go, I decided to seize the moment and pursue my wildest dream.
Three years ago, I moved to Jordan for nine months to study Arabic. I had visited Jordan twice on archeology digs in a little village close to Amman. But moving there was something different. In part, I wanted to experience how deep Jordanian hospitality went. My earlier visits had revealed the kindest, most giving people I had ever met. But I wondered if the red-carpet treatment had been brought out just for a guest. And if their hospitality was really as deep as it seemed, I wondered what driving force lay behind it? Was it culture, religion, heritage?
After living in Jordan for a few months, I began to figure out how to navigate social interactions. I learned for example that people might offer things, but you only knew they were serious if you declined their offer three times and they still insisted. Many times I found they meant what they said, but just as often they changed the subject after the first invitation.
Throughout my nine-month stay, one group of people inspired my passion for interfaith dialog and this prepared me to capture the vision of Faith House.
I felt fortunate to have friends in Jordan before I moved there. They emailed advice prior to my arrival, and only later did I learn they had spent hours knocking on doors trying to find me an apartment. Through their military connections, they obtained special passes so they could meet me at the gate of my plane. At every turn, they were there to help me. And yes, they found me an apartment, and then shared information about jobs in which I might be interested. They took me shopping. For my first week, they arranged for one of their cousins to meet me everyday after school to make sure I settled in OK. It became a habit and for nine months I spent every afternoon surrounded by people eager to help who wanted only friendship in return. Over time I felt a degree of skepticism about such kindness and pressed a friend on the subject. He responded that that they wouldn't be good Jordanians or Muslims if they didn't take good care of me. Then he paused, looked at me and said it was partly my fault. I had been so interested in them, and had been so non-judgmental of our differences that it had been hard for them not to reciprocate!
We spent hours talking about religion: each of us explaining why we belonged to our respective faiths. It proved to be quite a challenge because there were irreconcilable differences between us that we could only begin to understand by seeing the world through each other's eyes. A few months after I arrived, we had a long conversation about women in Islam. They explained why women in the Middle East utilize a different “space” than women in America. It took all nine months of my stay to begin to wrap my brain around the different ways Jordanians define female agency and empowerment. I'm still trying to understand it. But our friendship only deepened in these conversations and made me recognize the arrogance I brought with my worldview. My friends began to feel the same way about their perspectives as well.
As we dismantled misunderstandings and arrogance, something else happened to our friendship: I spent more time in the village with my friends. Invitations were always extended three times and after awhile, merely mentioning an event meant I was expected to show up. And when some guys at school approached my friends and asked about me in a suggestive tone (implying the stereotypical assumption that all Americans are like Britney Spears) they were told I was a sister. These young guys protested, but were firmly informed I was their sister and would be respected as such. Their willingness to defend me as their own blood deeply affected me and proved to be a monumental step in our friendship. They insisted I was not like other Americans, that the thoughtfulness I brought to my religion and spirituality made me more like them than if I had converted to Islam. It’s true they often expressed the wish that I would convert, but respected that I had a different path to walk. As a result, our friendship created a strange new family of different religions but similar mandates for living.
When Samir approached me about Faith House Manhattan, it resonated with my experience in Jordan. Imagine Muslims, Jews, Christians, Atheists, Buddhists, and other religions coming together, staying rooted in their faith but recognizing that their religious journey can be strengthened by learning about other religious traditions! From my experience in Jordan I can say this process is powerful and binds people together in a unique way. Imagine taking that powerful connection and using it to touch the lives of neighbors in your community. I've already lived the dream of Faith House and the outcome is miraculous and beautiful. For me it is the true and complete picture of God.
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